Are you happy? Are you happy? Are you happy?

Well, you d better say yes.

Khmer people are obsessive about being happy. Happiness coupled with soft laughter, and plenty of smiles are the only acceptable means of emotion in Cambodia. In the early mornings at the field office I usually have a nice cup of coffee, and think about how my day will play out. Inevitably, it is interrupted by

“Good Morning, Amanda.”

Followed by the all too familiar question:

“Are you happy?”

Ahhhh yes. Happiness. The Elusive Happiness.

Not so elusive here.

“Of course.” I always answer.

Seemingly, it is easy to be happy here: sunshine abounds, good people are always close, the food is delicious, and yes, it is true, happy faces are around every corner. But surely happiness is not the only emotion in the world. And surely not everybody here can be happy all the time, including me.

Partially, I think this overt display of happiness comes from their need to please their guests. I am a guest in their country, and if my newly found friends were guests in Canada, I too would want them to be happy and pleased with Canadian food, Canadians and the beauty of Canada.

But as I dig a bit deeper I am slowly finding out that it is more about trust and less about happiness.

Canadians trust easily. Friendships easily made, work relationships easily made, we trust the price that a shopkeeper gives us, we (mostly) trust our government, we trust our laws, and by and large we trust each other.

Unfortunately, this is not the case here. This sense of distrust is seen in every smiling face. Even in a meeting you know is not going well (happy times), even when you see a baby that is severely malnourished (also time to smile), even when you are visiting with a friend and they recount their life in the Khmer Rouge work camps (don t forget to smile), even when you are meeting an ex-Khmer Rouge General (the happiest time of your time), and even if you accidentally kick a chicken while on the back of a moto (sorry lil’ chicken…actually now that I m think about it - it was kinda funny).

Most of the time it all seems quite superficial and put on. Like a play. Like a wonderfully put together piece of theatrical work, but with an acute sense of sadness that is stitched in every made up smile. True emotions are rarely revealed, and only to be expressed among trusted family and friends. I have been quietly told that this sense of distrust stems from the Khmer Rouge Era (1975-79). The Khmer Rouge was a brief but brutal regime that sought after an extreme form of communism, and used ethnic cleansing, torture and draconian type work camps to rid dissidents.

And so the Khmer Rouge still has a hold on the psyche of the Cambodian people. They are still healing.

Believe me – having to work for a healthy trusting work relationship has been hard. Getting past these trust issues has not been a piece of cake. But slowly and surely I feeling like I am getting somewhere – even if it is just 1/3 of a notch up the ladder – it s somewhere. And it happens to be all that more sweet because we’ve worked harder for it.

Amanda

xoxoxoxox

The Sights and Sounds of Battembang

Just Giv'r! This has become my motto when cycling in and around Battembang. Battembang is my adopted city for 3months while I complete a summer internship at the MJP Foundation in Cambodia. Battembang is the 2nd largest city in Cambodia, and famously home to Mr. Battembang - a large statue in the middle of a busy roundabout with mystical powers that can help you if you pray appropriately and offer the right gifts. Although I have yet to offer any gifts and I don t think Buddha (or any deity for that matter) would approve of my method of praying I frequently rotate him in my list of those who I call upon while cycling through the apparent chaos. The streets are almost always full of motos and Tuk-Tuks and cars and horse and carts and cyclists, and trucks hiccuping blue-black smoke. It is the perfect zen moment when I make it through each unregulated traffic intersection. In that moment all the chaos makes perfect sense. I feel invigorated - and hence "Just Giv'r". I really like cycling here, and it has - for me - filled a niche to experience a bit of adventure. This is very unlike my bike riding in Toronto - which I can only now describe as a dull, muffled and a orderly side note to picking up groceries.

Mostly, I have had to cycle to grab a bite to eat. Eating, for me is an adventure all in itself and, has become so for the rest of the expats who dare walk on the wild side of street food. For the most part the food has been quite similar to asian food found in downtown Toronto. Because there is a large-ish contingent of expats working here we mostly frequent the western style restaurants. These restaurants offer various barang-a-sized and barang-a-changed meals (barang = foreigner) for relatively cheap prices. However, last night I was able to break free of the barang-a-catering, and (at their own free will) enlisted 2 other expats to venture out beyond.... We ended up cycling near the river, which cuts Battembang in half, and trying our hand at rice paddies with green spring onion drenched in fish and chilli sauce, and stopping off at a corn-on-the-cob vendor. Very proud, we cycled to the edge of the river set up our picnic and ate and laughed.

Not this week but the next all of MJP staff will be on going on a retreat. The timing seems to be perfect for me! We are all traveling to Sihanhoukville to.... get this: relax. All the expats seem to ask the same question over and over "What will we be doing on our 'retreat'?" The answer is always a matter of fact, "Relax." Once after my obvious disbelief following the usual answer, I also got a "What else would we do?" In my mind I quickly sorted out the retreats that I've been to - and those retreats were never about relaxing. Always so many things to do - workshops, networking, skill and team building exercises, etc. After the retreats I am accustomed to I always feel like I need a vacation. I answered a bit mentally exhausted, "Well, I m not sure."

It seems this new kind of retreat is a true re-treat.

I hope I have been able to give all my family and friends a small window into my life here. Thinking of you all daily.

Amanda xoxox

as a side note: The blog title "Blessings from Cambodia" was chosen to represent how thankful I am to be on an internship in Cambodia at MJP. Also, how thankful I am to be given the opportunity to learn from the expertise of the people I will meet along the way, both professionally and those who I meet in my day to day life.

One Week Left...